u change i change?

hello!
it has been sometimes since i last update my blog. so here i am now going to just write some my feelings which have been hanging on my mind. for those who happen to hop on my blog, i am sorry if i have indirectly offended u all.
FRIENDS.
it have been sometimes since i hang out with the rs bs sy the others fushan clique. although i have just jnew them for about i think 1yrs? i just felt that whenever i am with them, i could forget about all of my troubles and jokes together with them and disturb them. but this is only for the beginning. as the times go by, i start get to know their personality more clearly and the steadiness is just not there anymore. i am not saying that is all of u faults i am also at fault. i think that everything started to change when all of us went into poly and when u get to know new frens. whenever i need someone to slack or study with, u all just tell me that u are busy outside with ur schmates or gf bf and that happens oftenly! i was like WTF man. i known u a longer time then ur schmates and gf bf and u rather just accompany them then accompany secondary sch frens or even bros that u all often said?! and everytime i ask, only ultimate close buddys like cbk raymond yong reply that they are free and ask me where am i so that they could meet me. i know that some of u might thinks that "ah la u cb la hor, i everytime ask u come out u also dun1!" yah i admit that sometime i really just dun feel like stepping out of my house but seriously talking, how many times did i reject u all whenever u all wants to slack and smoke and talk cock together??? and when u all are boring or tired did u all ever ever text me or call me to tell me the problems u all are having? the friends that i really have or treats me truefully is only raymond cbk and nicky. and ruisen.

baosheng: i know that i everytime disturb u like slapping ur face all but i am just jk around what? i am just guailan-ing around and i treat this the same to everybody. and i really grateful that whenever i calls u and u will go down most of the time. i hope this will maintain. lets hope so.

rongsheng: when we just know each other, u will confirm everyday msg me"where u want slack?" how about now? u gt a gf and u seldom msg me want slack or not. is everytime i txt u. even u text me is because of ur gf is doing her own things right? and can u said that u sometimes text me go fushan is not because of ciggs? seriously talking i really do not have much money ready. the ciggs every week i bought could cost up to 70bucks! all of you thinks that i am rich son or what, tell u all i am not a rich son! i am a normal son from a normal financial family. i not being stingy here or what but.... aiyah u know what i mean la hor.

shiyu: among the fushan clique, i know u the longest. everything was fine before u went in poly but after u went to poly, it just changes. whenever i jio u go out or what u will just say that u with ur classmate all. and u really changes quite alot. i couldnt explain in words how u change but just change. giving today example,4 of june. i went to starbucks and study and u told me u wanted to slack tonight so i text everyone to slack. so i waited at fushan with some of the others at fushan. i waited from 8 to 10plus and u just walk pass stone table without saying hie or talk abit. do u want to try that feeling of waiting for ur fren for 2hrs plus and u just walk pass and went home just call to say u go home liao! WTF is that man. truly speaking i damn pissed off!

cbk and ray: CBK and raymond yong!!! both of u knn cbkia are the best fren that i could ever wish for! whenever i need someone to slack with or talk with, both of u will just steadily say" okay no problem bro." getting to know both of u is just the most fortunate thing that could happen in my life. ray rmb what u wrote in ur blog before u went to japan? every single word that u wrote about me was stuck in my brain. and i was really touch by what u say! u are my first fren that really cares about my life love and everything! u are the best chinese friends! cbk although u are supreme guai lan, but u are also supreme funny! rmb when u first start to smoke we went to hid around just for u to smoke a stick of cigg? haha! ur move ur saying brighten up my life even when i was in my most "bad mood".

ruisen: mr phua! although we seldom meet nowadays cause of ur work and my studys, u will always be my bro for life! whenever i encounter any problem u would give me solution or rather talk to me errr aiyah u know what i mean la ruisen.

tiong da: lee tiong da! my didi! lol! although u not long. but u are just a kind of straight forward fren and nvr pang seh me before!*ok la sometime gt* i really grateful for knowing u:)

last but not least nicky yong: nicholas! u is really one horny bastard!LOL! but u are one my really true buddy! rmb on ur birthday u paid ur bunkmate money to take over of ur guard duty and came out to accompany for dinner? really thanks alot for being so funny all of the time to made laugh! haha! rmb when we go fareast together? we sat down outside carls junoir and see girls?! haha! u like bitchy girl!:D
actually i realy do not want to say out all this but i just couldnt take it anymore! i wanted to talk with all of u all face to face but i just couldnt bring myself to say it face to face. in ur eyes, i might be a joker but i can tell that everything i done is just to save this friendship.

SHISHA!@

GAN!
shisha-ed just now with ray and co.
is was boring so i text-ed somebody.
i felt so relax after texting her and pouring out all my problems to her/him?
hold on to my faith:D
thk you!

the 365 day.

all i could say that is
i miss her so much.